Home/How to Survive in a Good Small Guild/ch 68

Chapter 68

"Customer service connection...?"

It seemed that Ans and I were hearing the same thing through our receivers.

Ans didn't understand what it meant, but I quickly grasped the situation.

"I'm sorry, customer. That must have been very inconvenient. I've been through it myself, so I fully sympathize with how you feel. I apologize."

-If you know it's inconvenient, why do you run it this way!

"I'm sorry, I've told my boss several times too, but I don't know why nothing changes."

This was the typical feature of modern customer service hotlines.

They kept pushing people toward AI, turning ordinary customers into angry complainers.

Hmm, the one who lasted longer with the angry customers probably won, right?

After a few hours of this, it would definitely get exhausting.

-Ugh, so let me tell you! I'm the kind of person who...

He spent five minutes introducing himself.

"I see. So the issue is..."

-No, the reason I bought this in the first place was...

Another ten minutes passed.

By now, I knew his family relationships, his pet's age, that his hobby was line dancing and he'd soon compete in a tournament, that he was planning an overseas trip with his social club but one member kept complaining about the airfare, and that his high school sophomore son wanted expensive tutoring but he wasn't sure if his grades would improve.

Yet I still hadn't found out the customer's name or why he'd called.

I glanced over—Ans seemed to be in the same situation.

'Anyway, the one who ends the call faster is at an advantage, right?'

-So Poppy used to take her heartworm medication well, but lately she refuses to eat it...

"So what is it that you're dissatisfied about?"

Ans asked that, then flinched. Someone must have yelled at him on the other end.

While he was still struggling, I decided to try a different approach.

Trash Company Art of War, Skill #2! If you're trash, I'll be trash too!

"Oh, really? Your dog's name is Poppy."

-Yeah, Poppy. Our Poppy is a poodle. You know how smart poodles are, right?

"Of course. I used to have a Chihuahua. Her name was Sugar—a white Chihuahua. There's a prejudice that Chihuahuas have bad tempers. In my case, it was true. Sugar really had a terrible temper. I loved her dearly, but honestly, I have to admit her personality wasn't good. I have a concern, though—Sugar passed away at 16 and went to doggy heaven. But because her personality was so bad, I'm not sure she'll get along with the other dogs. Do you think there's bullying among dogs? Oh, speaking of bullying, that reminds me."

-W-wait!

As I started mimicking the customer and rambling on, he became flustered.

-Why are you talking so much? Let me speak too. Anyway, I'm planning an overseas trip with Poppy. I'm thinking of going to the beach, but I can't decide whether to go east or west.

"Ah, then I can help with that! I've traveled a lot. When I first became an adult, I went on a trip to the east coast with a friend. We stayed in the cheapest room at a nice inn, and I thought I'd be able to afford the most expensive room in ten years. But you know, prices went up in the meantime..."

-Wait, wait! So what about my item?

"Ah, what item was it again?"

-I bought some clothes and there was a hole in them...

Realizing he'd never get a word in otherwise, he quickly stated his complaint.

"Understood, customer!"

After he hung up, I let out a sigh of relief.

'That's one down!'

This was actually a method I couldn't use in a real customer service center—the customer could hang up and file a complaint.

But this was a virtual space, and no matter how trashy I acted, there was no one to complain about me later.

'This might work...'

While Ans was still struggling, I finished the first call. Etienne looked at me and burst out laughing.

"Wow, that was hilarious! I've never seen anyone handle it like that!"

"Thank you..."

"But that won't solve everything, will it?"

As soon as he said that, the second phone rang. I picked it up again.

-Agh, you f***ing idiot!

It started with a curse. That really made my head spin.

I genuinely came to respect customer service workers who dealt with people like this every day.

For me it was just a day's experience, but they had to deal with this constantly—truly admirable.

Hmm, what should I do here? Fighting with the customer by cursing back would never end...

-Hey! You goddamn worthless people! Can't you do anything right?

Let's go.

Trash Company Art of War, Skill #4: Make the opponent lose their will to fight.

"Do it right...? Uh, yes..."

When I answered in a somewhat foolish tone, the other party seemed to think they'd found a target and got even angrier.

-Your shipment hasn't arrived! What are you going to do about it!

"A shipment? What kind of shipment?"

-I ordered a bedding set!

"A bedding set? What kind of bedding set?"

-A down bedding set for winter!

"Down? Is down warm?"

-Why are you asking me that! I ordered it so I could sleep warmly in winter, and now there's a shipping delay—does that make sense? You disrespectful idiots!

"A shipping delay? Really?"

-Are you blind? Look at it!

"But why is there a shipping delay?"

-Why do I have to explain that!

"How does a shipping delay happen?"

-Ugh!

At that moment, an unusual sound came from the other end.

-Ugh!

-H-honey! Wake up, honey!

-Ugh!

-I think Dad collapsed from a fit of anger!

After some commotion, the line went dead.

I smiled. Unlike my original intention to make them lose their will, the will had exploded and they'd been taken away by ambulance.

Anyway, problem solved, right?

"Hahaha!"

Etienne burst out laughing again.

"Counter-attacking—hilarious, hilarious! You've understood the scripture well! What is a customer?"

"Our enemy."

"Exactly!"

I had no idea why Park Geo-seong, who sold products to customers to make money, would call them enemies, but whatever.

The third phone rang.

Ans's face had turned pale—he looked like he might collapse soon. I decided to hold on a little longer.

"Hello."

-......

The third customer wasn't angry. He was very quiet.

"How can I help you?"

-Don't you know who I am.

"......"

For a moment I was flustered. Damn it, he was that type.

He didn't openly get angry, but he was asserting his authority.

"I'm sorry, customer. I'm still ignorant..."

-I'm the CEO of Smarta Ventures.

"Ah, yes."

-Not even recognizing the voice of a business partner.

How was I going to handle this person?

As I racked my brain, I felt a sense of crisis.

'If I finish the calls too quickly, I might end up taking thirty calls before Ans collapses.'

I needed to escape from this situation entirely. How could I destroy this whole scenario?

-An employee who doesn't even know their business partner...

While the other party was speaking with small but dissatisfied words, I got a hint from that.

'Let's use this customer!'

If I used the setting that this person was a partner company's CEO...

I could just destroy this virtual company altogether, so I wouldn't have to take any more calls!

"Ah, yes. One moment. The CEO told me to transfer any calls from you directly to him, so let me connect you."

Trash Company Art of War, Skill #3.

If a company has five employees, one of them is a nuisance.

Huh? There's no nuisance?

Well, no choice then. I'll play the nuisance from now on.

"CEO!"

I pretended to put down the receiver, but loudly enough for it to be heard through the phone.

"The CEO of that awful partner company you told me to handle is here! No, the one you called outdated and stupid last time!"

At that moment, the space began to shake.

The space vibrated wildly along with the phone. Ans looked up with uneasy eyes. And then—

Crash!

A loud noise like something shattering rang out, and when I came to, I was back in the original examination hall.

"Oh! What happened?"

"She broke the dilemma!"

Apparently the mid-level priests had already seen how our exam worked. They looked at us with excited expressions.

"But one person didn't collapse..."

"Instead, one of them destroyed the world! That's a win for Lower Priest Odrette, isn't it?"

As they murmured, Etienne seemed to be in his own dilemma.

"Ah, that was amusing, but... if one person doesn't collapse, it's against the rules..."

Wait—I just needed to make Etienne even more entertained while fulfilling the rule that one person collapses.

I picked up the thick scripture book lying on the floor. It was a commentary on Park Geo-seong's essay, and the commentary was bigger than the original, so it was very heavy and thick.

And I brought it down on Ans's head.

"Ugh!"

He collapsed from the impact. Silence fell over the examination hall.

"......?"

But I looked at Etienne and said confidently.

"Now the conditions are met."

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